this feels weird

for the longest time, i have been convincing myself that lawyering is a good profesion.

a friend of mine warned me not to plunge headlong into something you aren't sure you'll commit to. but i retorted, my parents want me too. she shot back at me, you could tell your parents that you would, but that, just not yet now. (this conversation actually transpired in the year 2004)

even with the warning, i still did take the plunge. so far, i have to say that law school is an institution where you are taught to uphold justice while in the meantime, some teachers will commit their injustices (if it's ego/power-trip, i cannot really tell). but if truth be told, i have been treated unjustly in law school twice. the first time around was when a professor gave a much higher final grade to a student who was my professor's kin in a fraternity/sorority. the second time, is just a while ago when my request to have my failing grade (due to technicalities) be reconsidered is rejected.

i am not one who really cares about the grades. it's just that, it's too bitter a pill to swallow; i am referring to the idea of being in law school to study all about the law and the concepts of justice when the very same people who teach and speak about it are themselves doing the exact opposite of what they teach. tch.

i cannot help but be annoyed and at the same time be drawn to the idea of being a lawyer. annoyed, because i know i will always be in close proximity with situations which require a judgment call on my part. drawn, because after all, a lawyer can save not only a person's life but also his/her liberty or property.

hay.. cognitive dissonance again.

by the way, the Father offered as an alternate to his reconsideration of my grade that i take up his review classes with the barristas during the summer. translation, i don't get to have a summer break.

(a long and exasperated *sigh* to that)

anyhow, the night cannot be marred by the Father's rejection. i have good news for myself as well. my classmates who are part of the student council have confirmed that in our sportsfest, there will indeed be a shooting exhibition as they say. no points to be credited to the year levels but the participants will get trophies and awards. i am excited, because i really want to join, but i am also anxious because i haven't held a gun in 3 years and the last competition i have participated in was in 2000 before i left for baguio.

whew! well, as the cat in Barbie's The Princess and The Pauper would have it, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. i just hope that i could borrow my fellow shooter's .40 caliber para ordnance. i am so much more comfortable with that than my father's .45 glock whose trigger is way too hard to squeeze. we owned a .45 para ordnance before but my father sold it since i went to baguio for college and he did not have any shooting companion so he opted for a gun suitable to carry and not for shooting.

hay, i have to practice my aim. kinakalawang na ako for sure.