a longing and a loathing

all of yesterday was spent travelling from home to davao city, running other people's errands, studying and attending my night classes. in the midst of my hectic monday, i have foregone one important chore, i.e. to text my boyfriend. much to my chagrin, when i finally had the load and the time to text him , he was already sulking. i know how he feels and i cannot blame him, but i pleaded that since he hasn't received any messages from me that he should've been alarmed and called me. he claimed that i was trying to shift the blame on him. i explained in my matter-of-fact tone that i was not shifting any blame or what because i hate pointing any finger at any one, i was merely propounding a point, the point being that he could've called me when i did not reply to any of his messages. but of course, that got me nowhere. i ended up in tears, frustrated at not being able to make that special person understand me. i loathe the fact that i am not as expressive as i ought to be. but that's just me. so i ask, "why can't i be me?"

i also loathe the fact that we always make the petty, trivial matters complicated and blown out of proportion, especially when we're both mad.

haaaaaaaaaaaay..

i long to be understood. i long f0r his understanding and consideration.

are these too much to ask?

i guess i'm just tired, but for today, i still have chores to finish and errands to run and subjects to study and some practice for some event in the conflicts.