a resounding finality

i am eerily calm and composed when i receive some not so good news. but when i do turn my back, i cry the living daylights out of me. after which, i assume the composure and the calmness i had before melting down.

this was exactly what happened last night. my boyfriend's transfer to cavite is FINAL. the date to reckon its finality is the 15th of october. starting today, i am counting the days when i will be accompanying him to the airport. i have to muster all the strength i have in order not to cry at his departure.

as if that news is not enough, my scheduled break at the end of october is seemingly impossible to squeeze in my already cramped schedule. supposedly, i am to go to manila on the 29th of oct til 4th of november. unluckily for me, i have an exam on the 29th, the enrollment for the juniors for the second semester is on the 31st of oct and 2nd of nov. how is that for toxic?

more than this, the manila trip will still push through for my mom and youngest sister. but it is no longer a fun trip, not just because i would not be able to go but that they (my mom and sister) are going there because a family problem has to be dealt with there. by the way, they are going this very weekend.

hay..

i still have a pile of readings left untouched, unread..

and there are approximately 3 weeks before the semester ends.

i still have a paper in provisional remedies to write and 7 more exams to go before the first semester officially ends.

i still am going to manila, because my boyfriend will be there for six months. as to when, i do not know yet.

i now have this mantra to keep me looking forward to the future, "map out your future, but do it in pencil." i cannot exactly remember who said this, but he was some rock star.