my special someone

i have tried with all my might to delay posting any stuff about him. but i just can't help it anymore. there is so much to say, especially since he's away and i miss him terribly.

we have been together for the longest time ( i say this in reference to my past relationships).
i could not imagine how we would have clicked given our extreme political ideologies, but somehow, we gelled. at first, it was friendship that we sought. just the company of each other while we talk about anything under the sun. but we get most passsionate about the topic of our schools, politics and family. the first time we shared our thoughts, i just felt so comfortable that i would look forward to the next time that we could get to hang out with each other.

i did not know then if i should've been grateful to have met him at that time, considering that i was spending my last few weeks in baguio city because the month after which, i will be graduating. but looking bact at that time now, i know i should be grateful. and that the timing was not at all off, because at that time, he was allowed to go out a lot since they were busy preparing for the graduation in their school also. so, i get to see him almost every week.
i just find it so mushy that i fell for my guy in a short span of time. not that i am complaining. I CERTAINLY AM NOT. i have started to have feelings for him when i thought that all he was after was friendship or that was at least what i was led to believe.

when he finally divulged his love for me, there was no room to doubt that he had only the best intentions when he befriended me. but, i could not say yes just yet. as they say, a lady would never say "yes," if she does, she's not a lady.

so i had to think about it and think hard because it would take a humungous mountain of love and understanding to accept him and the nature of his job. the pros and cons, the ifs and buts were weighed and they could not be dismissed. after all the thinking i did, i came up with only this, that i love him and i could not bear the thought of not giving him that love that is meant for him. so, i have widened my understanding and have broadened my way of thinking so that i could fully accept the life with him that i so chose to live.
I DO NOT REGRET ANY OF IT AT ALL.

today, i am most happy. nope, we are not celebrating anything. we are not that big on celebrations anyway since we are always constrained by his schedule. nevertheless, i am most happy because, just this morning, i got a message from him saying he loves me and that he's sorry he wasn't able to wake up early to prepare me breakfast. we always say things to each other as if we are just beside each other. it helps to ease away the loneliness of being far from each other. but we have resolved never to let geographical constraints nor time constraints to stray us from the path we chose to take.

i could not say that i want to marry him now. i just want to enjoy the relationship and love that we share. i don't doubt that i want to be a mother someday and have him father all my kids. but i do not want to rush things. we both are caught up in our careers and we would to give each other that before we marry so that we could at least be mentally, financially, emotionally and spiritually be prepared for that day.

i hope we can sustain the love we have for each other.

*SIGH* i knew i would sound mushy, maudlin and mawkish and still, i do not know how else to put it. so, there.