It is bad enough that the private practice of law is innately stressful, I happen to have a power-tripping boss who cannot seem to get through the day without banging the door and lashing at something or someone. I have decided to tender my resignation effective at the end of March.
As I was drafting my letter, I felt an immense sense of relief and at the same time, remorse. Relief because I will now have the chance to "search my soul" and be free from worrying that I might end up spending all my time in something I no longer am passionate about. Remorse because I could have done this sooner and spared my heart the bother. But until I tender that letter, my head will be battering my heart for this decision.
As I was drafting my letter, I felt an immense sense of relief and at the same time, remorse. Relief because I will now have the chance to "search my soul" and be free from worrying that I might end up spending all my time in something I no longer am passionate about. Remorse because I could have done this sooner and spared my heart the bother. But until I tender that letter, my head will be battering my heart for this decision.
That the month of February proved to be most stressful for me is evidenced by how my weight did a yo-yo, at how many unfinished books I have started, and at how much I managed to hoard.
The books I was able to finish:
The books I was able to finish:
The books which remained on my bedside are:
The books I have bought (and even I am appalled at myself, but I simply could not help it):
On February 4:
A Maggot by John Fowles
A Fanatic Heart by Edna O'Brien
On February 11:
Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
On February 14:
Exit Music by Ian Rankin
Carpentaria by Alexis Wright
On February 15:
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig
The Taste of a Man by Slavenka Drakulic
The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin
The Means of Escape by Penelope Fitzgerald
Crackpots by Sara Pritchard
A River Town by Thomas Keneally
Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn Garner
On February 20:
The Book of Where by Neil Bell
Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres
Success by Martin Amis
If the River was Whiskey by T.C. Boyle
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
Will the Boat Sink the Water? by Chen Guidi and Wu Chuntao
Eating Mammals by John Barlow
Stop Breakin Down by John McManus
The Course of the Heart by M. John Harrison
Unless by Carol Shields
On February 25:
The B.S. Factor: The Theory and Technique of Faking It in America by Arthur Herzog
The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
Once: Poems by Alice Walker
Pooh's Birthday Book A.A. Milne
On February 27:
Holes by Louis Sachar
The Van by Roddy Doyle
The Family Markowitz by Allegra Goodman
The Laws of Evening by Mary Yukari Waters
Home by Marilynne Robinson
For this stressful month, I even have a band/artist for the month: the Modest Mouse and I even found out that the band was cited in a US Supreme Court decision through their wikipedia page.
For March, I just wish my heart and mind would reconcile and that I'd finally find the one thing in the world that I would voluntarily devote myself to, and I so invoke the intervention of whatever gods there may be for this simple wish to come true.
4 comments:
i'm praying that your prayer will be granted .. i think everybody goes through this phase. no regrets and just make sure to always make the best of everything ;) - jazi
Thanks Jazi :)
I've no regrets, just gratitude for the things that are coming along my way.
reading books is by far the best stress reliever. :)
For us bookworms, i guess..
What i'm scared of is the fact that i no longer get as much sense of relief from reading than i used to. I bought a lot but read lesser books. :(
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