A Year and Some 50 Books Later

I can daresay that it felt like a new year. Goals have changed, priorities were rearranged, relationships are strengthened while new ones are formed and the career was rebuilt.

From my last post, I did go home to Davao and stayed there until January of this year. While there, I managed to finish the task I set out to do for the family. I also read some books, saw some movies, drove some trucks (sedans are no good in our part of the country), shot some guns, attended weddings of friends and baptisms of my friends' kids, bonded with my nieces and a nephew and even played "mother" to a niece whose "ate" left because she got pregnant. So much has happened in my personal life which greatly impacted my professional life. 

my babies: (L-R) Cleo, Yo, Jaimee, Ayesh

Team Davao Oriental (rifle category)

burn from an empty shell caught in my eyeglasses right after it was expelled from the muzzle

At a Mitzi's wedding

Some of the guns I practiced on (I'm a pistol shooter but surprisingly, archery principles apply in rifle shooting0

Back then, I merely dabbled, not fully practiced my profession. I accepted some pro bono cases, gave out legal advice to people who sought it, and extended assistance by way of referring them to experts (especially correction of entries in the birth certificate). 

On the whole, I never regretted having slowed down in this highly stressful profession. It only made me realize what is it that I don't want out of life, and worked out my wants from there. The time made me more appreciative of what I have, but also gave me the capacity to let go of what (or who) I don't need in this life. That span of time was really a lightbulb moment for me. 

The greatest birthday gift I gave myself was moving on from associate to advocate. At the moment, I am part of a team of young idealistic Filipinos working towards making the country healthier in reaffirmation of the right of everyone to the enjoyment  of the highest attainable standard of physical and mental health. 

To Stay or To Go

I should have been resigned at the end of March 2011, but my boss' request for a 15-day extension was something I cannot refuse. I also wanted to stay as long as possible because the boyfriend got reassigned in the Metro (great timing!).

So, even with the extension of y employment, I still have one pending deliverable to the office. After that, I'd probably run out of reasons to not head back to Davao. Hay, I want to stay but I have to go. Not much choice there.

In the meantime, I have returned to reading and hoarding books. I may have to write another post on those books because I've just borrowed my sister's laptop.

Bigger Things

During dinner with my sister Mia, I'd come to a stark realization that time flies and now, more than ever is the time to gauge such passage of time by how much fulfillment there is in the things we spent most of our time on. The logical conclusion to this realization is my resignation from the law firm that I work for.

It is bad enough that the private practice of law is innately stressful, I happen to have a power-tripping boss who cannot seem to get through the day without banging the door and lashing at something or someone. I have decided to tender my resignation effective at the end of March.

As I was drafting my letter, I felt an immense sense of relief and at the same time, remorse. Relief because I will now have the chance to "search my soul" and be free from worrying that I might end up spending all my time in something I no longer am passionate about. Remorse because I could have done this sooner and spared my heart the bother. But until I tender that letter, my head will be battering my heart for this decision.

That the month of February proved to be most stressful for me is evidenced by how my weight did a yo-yo, at how many unfinished books I have started, and at how much I managed to hoard.

The books I was able to finish:

The books which remained on my bedside are:

The books I have bought (and even I am appalled at myself, but I simply could not help it):

On February 4:

A Maggot by John Fowles

A Fanatic Heart by Edna O'Brien

On February 11:

Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

On February 14:

Exit Music by Ian Rankin

Carpentaria by Alexis Wright

On February 15:

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig

The Taste of a Man  by Slavenka Drakulic

The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin

The Means of Escape by Penelope Fitzgerald

Crackpots by Sara Pritchard

A River Town by Thomas Keneally

Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn Garner

On February 20:

The Book of Where by Neil Bell

Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres

Success by Martin Amis

If the River was Whiskey by T.C. Boyle

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard

Will the Boat Sink the Water? by Chen Guidi and Wu Chuntao

Eating Mammals  by John Barlow

Stop Breakin Down by John McManus

The Course of the Heart by M. John Harrison

Unless by Carol Shields

On February 25:

The B.S. Factor: The Theory and Technique of Faking It in America by Arthur Herzog

The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

Once: Poems by Alice Walker

Pooh's Birthday Book A.A. Milne

On February 27:

Holes by Louis Sachar

The Van by Roddy Doyle

The Family Markowitz by Allegra Goodman

The Laws of Evening by Mary Yukari Waters

Home by Marilynne Robinson

For this stressful month, I even have a band/artist for the month: the Modest Mouse and I even found out that the band was cited in a US Supreme Court decision through their wikipedia page.

For March, I just wish my heart and mind would reconcile and that I'd finally find the one thing in the world that I would voluntarily devote myself to, and I so invoke the intervention of whatever gods there may be for this simple wish to come true.